Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop. - Gertrude Stein
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I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart. - e.e. cummings
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If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. - J. Paul Getty
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If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. - Anonymous
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If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it. - Anonymous
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If you want to say it with flowers, a single rose says: "I'm cheap!" - Delta Burke
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Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. - Robert Orben
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If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. - Aristotle Onassis
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Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac
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No one can earn a million dollars honestly. - William Jennings Bryan
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Resolve not to be poor: whatever you have, spend less. Poverty is a great enemy to human happiness; it certainly destroys liberty, and it makes some virtues impracticable, and others extremely difficult. - Samuel Johnson
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Don't marry for money. You can borrow it cheaper. - Scotts Proverb
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It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary to be rich. - Alan Alda
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Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it. - Anonymous
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You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony. - John Barrymore
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Nothing more clearly show how little God esteems his gift to men of wealth, money, position and other wordly goods, than the way he distributes these, and the sort of men who are most amply provided with them. - Jean de La Bruyere
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A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it rains. - Robert Frost
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It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed. - Kin Hubbard
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I don't like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves. - Joe Louis
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Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy. - Spike Milligan
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. - Rita Rudner
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Honesty is the best policy -- when there is money in it. - Mark Twain
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It is in the character of very few men to honor without envy a friend who has prospered. - Aeschylus
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Only when man's life comes to its end in prosperity can one call that man happy. - Aeschylus
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Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle
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Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. - Ambrose Bierce
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Content makes poor men rich; discontentment makes rich men poor. - Benjamin Franklin
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If you would know the value of money try to borrow some. - Benjamin Franklin
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The rich swell up with pride, the poor from hunger. - Sholom Aleichem
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There is no stronger craving in the world than that of the rich for titles, except that of the titled for riches. - Hesketh Pearson
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I enjoy money. Not enough people in this world are happy. I'm determined to be contented, and having plenty of money from working makes it easier for me. - Karen Carpenter
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I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok. - Shaquille O'Neal
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In the absence of the gold standard, there is no way to protect savings from confiscation through inflation. There is no safe store of value. - Alan Greenspan
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The greatest luxury of riches is that they enable you to escape so much good advice. - Sir Arthur Helps
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...and now we're down to our last $37,000. - Tammy Faye Bakker
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If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves. - Lane Kirkland
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A nation is not in danger of financial disaster merely because it owes itself money. - Andrew Mellon
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No man should be in public office who can't make more money in private life. - Thomas E. Dewey
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The law is bigger than money - but only if the law works hard enough. - Thomas E. Dewey
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You can take of a man's money, but when it's all said and done, you've only taken his money. When you take of a man's time, you've taken a part of his life. I'd like to thank you for giving me a part of your life tonight. - Wayne Newton
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. - Spike Milligan
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Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan
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If you have to ask, you can't afford it! - J.Pierpont Morgan
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Money doesn't make the man. Some people have money, and some people are rich. - Thomas A. Dorsey
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Everyone should have enough money to get plastic surgery. - Beverly Johnson
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I don't wake up for less than $10,000 a day. - Linda Evangelista
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I love to go to Washington, if only to be nearer my money. - Bob Hope
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns
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It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money. - P. J. O'Rourke
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The price we have to pay for money is sometimes liberty.
- Robert Louis Stevenson
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Wealth is any income that is at least one hundred dollars a year more than the income of one's wife's sister's husband. - H. L. Mencken
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now! - Milton Berle
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The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. - Kin Hubbard
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When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money. - Kin Hubbard
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It isn't enough for you to love money— it's also necessary that money should love you. - Kin Hubbard
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To be clever enough to get all the money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - Gilbert K. Chesterton
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Wealth stays with us a little moment if at all: only our characters are steadfast, not our gold. - Euripides
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When a man's stomach is full it makes no difference whether he is rich or poor. - Euripides
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Money: There's nothing in the world so demoralizing as money.
- Sophocles
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I can live without money, but I cannot live without love. - Judy Garland
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A man who has a million dollars is as well off as if he were rich.
- John Jacob Astor
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I pity the man who wants a coat so cheap that the man or woman who produces the cloth will starve in the process. - Benjamin Harrison
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It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy. - George Lorimer
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I make a lot of money, but I don't want to talk about that. I work very hard and I'm worth every cent.
- Naomi Campbell
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Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Smith
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No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions - he had money, too.
- Margaret Thatcher
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Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
- Henny Youngman
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He who has gold makes and accomplishes whatever he wishes in the world and finally uses it to send souls to paradise. - Christopher Columbus
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It is simply, and solely, the abundance of money within a state [which] makes the difference in its grandeur and power. - Jean-Baptiste Colbert
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The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it. (on junk bonds)
- Warren Buffett
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When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet. - Nick Arnette
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I'm as poor as a church mouse, that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese. - Rowan Atkinson
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Never invest in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose
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There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there. - Colonel Sanders
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You can be young without money but you can't be old without it. - Tennessee Williams
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Ever notice how it's a penny for your thoughts, yet you put in your two-cents? Someone is making a penny on the deal! - Steven Wright
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A man explained inflation to his wife thus:
'When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much.' - Joel Barnett
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If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company: I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner. - John Barrymore
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Pound notes are the best religion in the world. - Brendan Behan
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I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. - George Best
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Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward. - George Carlin
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We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed. - Chris Rock
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I have always said that if I were a rich man, I would employ a professional praiser. - Osbert Sitwell
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Let us all be happy and live within our means, even if we have to borrow the money to do it with. - Artemus Ward
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In rendering its decision in our case, the Supreme Court equated money with speech because these days it takes the first to make yourself heard.
- James L. Buckley
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The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the betterment of life. - Arthur Godfrey
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Capital isn't scarce; vision is. - Sam Walton
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There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails. - Spencer Tracy
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Poets, we know, are terribly sensitive people, and in my observation one of the things they are most sensitive about is money. - Robert Penn Warren
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You can't tell a millionaire's son from a billionaire's. - Vance Packard
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Chief executives, who themselves own few shares of their companies, have no more feeling for the average stockholder than they do for baboons in Africa. - T. Boone Pickens
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I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries. - Jules Renard
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I cannot afford to waste my time making money. - Louis Agassiz
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I'm so naive about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn't understand, she had to explain: 'That's like three Mercedes.' Then I understood. - Brooke Shields
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All money is a matter of belief. - Adam Smith
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Money never remains just coins and pieces of paper. Money can be translated into the beauty of living, a support in misfortune, an education, or future security. It also can be translated into a source of bitterness. - Sylvia Porter
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The meek shall inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights. - J. Paul Getty
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If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. - Dorothy Parker
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I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. - Jackie Mason
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There is nothing more demoralizing than a small but adequate income. - Edmund Wilson
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Somebody said to me, 'But the Beatles were anti-materialistic.' That's a huge myth. John and I literally used to sit down and say, 'Now, let's write a swimming pool.' - Paul McCartney
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There is nothing fundamentally wrong with America's cities that money can't cure. - Carl B. Stokes
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The most popular labor-saving device is still money. - Phyllis George
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Money costs too much. - Ross MacDonald
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If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn't be enough to go around. - Christina Stead
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People of the same trade seldom meet together, even for merriment and diversion, but the conversation ends in a conspiracy against the public, or in some contrivance to raise prices. - Adam Smith
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If one is rich and one's a woman, one can be quite misunderstood. - Katharine Graham
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If you see a bandwagon, it's too late. - James Goldsmith
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My present post amounts to about 700 thaler, and when there are rather more funerals than usual, the fees rise in proportion; but when a healthy wind blows, they fall accordingly... - Johann Sebastian Bach
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Love lasteth as long as the money endureth. - William Caxton
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I would as soon leave my son a curse as the almighty dollar. - Andrew Carnegie
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There is no class so pitiably wretched as that which possesses money and nothing else. - Andrew Carnegie
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I made my money the old fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died. - Malcolm Forbes
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Poverty is not socialism. To be rich is glorious. - Deng Xiaoping
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I don't even get an allowance. (at age 10) - Macaulay Culkin
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Our incomes are like our shoes; if too small, they gall and pinch us; but if too large, they cause us to stumble and to trip. - John Locke
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After a certain point, money is meaningless. It ceases to be the goal. The game is what counts. - Aristotle Onassis
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How many men are there who fairly earn a million dollars? - Henry George
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He who tampers with the currency robs labor of its bread. - Daniel Webster
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Money confers the power to command the labor of others. Love of money is love of power. And love of power is the root of evil.” - Edward Abbey
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. - Woody Allen
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An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics. - Plutarch
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A great fortune is a great slavery. - Seneca
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I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year. - Victor Borge
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I am indeed rich, since my income is superior to my expenses, and my expense is equal to my wishes. - Edward Gibbon
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I don't owe one man one cent. Anywhere. - Roy Acuff
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Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. - Bill Vaughan
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Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income - which he then spends sending his son to college. - Bill Vaughan
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He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money. - Benjamin Franklin
